This post was supposed to go live on our wedding day. However wedding-week rushed past us both and a spare minute to sit down couldn’t be found. So instead it goes live today, on day two of married life, as we’re waiting in the departure lounge to fly from Newquay to Dublin for our honeymoon.
It’s very almost five years now since we first met and so much has happened in those years! From eighteen to twenty-three, we chanced upon each other in the middle of quite a transitional period. Through university and graduation – moving out and moving on – there was so much confusion and questioning. Every day was spent trying to work out where to head next in life, to figure out who we were becoming. Perhaps in some ways that’s still going on. We still have so many plans and projects on the back burner, we still feel pressed to make a move in the wide adult world. But the speed of change has slowed and out the other side we’ve come; still together and with the understanding that even if we’re not certain who we’re each becoming, or what we’re doing – that’s something we want to explore and become and do together. In some ways this marriage is like the end of an era; drawing to a close a beautiful, changing, magical, tempest of a time when we put down roots together and grew up a bit. For me, some old highlights would have to be…
Waking up at the crack of dawn (no laughing matter for you!) in our second year of university to sit out and watch the sun rise over Falmouth harbour. We then walked over to Gylly beach, where we lay in the sun till their cafe opened, before having a rather swanky breakfast. Well swanky for us!
Surfing together at Coverack on your birthday; pulling silly faces at each other and striking poses on the board as we surfed each wave in. It’s such a simple memory, but one of feeling so completely comfortable with each other, not feeling embarrassed or holding anything back and being brought worlds closer to you.
Our first camp out at Frenchman’s Creek. It was the first time I had towed my Dad’s boat behind his sidecar – something he had done with me many a times as a kid. Rowing you along the Helford river, showing you its beauty and having a play about in the boat. Then landing on the quay side and setting up camp, watching fish jump out of the water and the ever moving tide ebbing and flooding through the night. It was a memory that stuck so fast that eventually there was no other memory I wanted to rekindle when I proposed to you. A memory so saturated in significance, it overflowed into our decision to hold our wedding just a stone throw away at Kestle Barton.
For me what stands out is the times we take out of our normal routines to just stop and enjoy what can so easily pass us by. A few weeks ago we cuddled on the sofa (too exhausted to carry on with wedding planning that evening) and we sleepily watched “About Time”. You know I’m not one for films (don’t get Alex started on the fact I have yet to agree to watching Game of Thrones with her…). For me personally I don’t feel at ease when I’m sitting down taking time out of my day ( week, life…) unless I really feel like I’m recharging and that always has a much more natural element; be it woods, rivers, waves, stars or a camp fire. Generally being outdoors feels like real living to me. But I make an exception for “About Time”.
If you haven’t watched it I won’t go into too much plot detail, only it’s about a family in which the men can time-travel in the most ordinarily-matter-of-fact-British-way. In a film where the possibilities are magically endless, we agreed that we loved that almost always throughout the film the “big moments” are always messy and commonplace and imperfect. Unlike many Hollywood films (which don’t contain magic) everything goes off seamlessly, without a hitch, we love the fact it rains on their wedding day, that the wrong song is played when she walks down the aisle and he proposes – not in a fancy restaurant or on a beach at sunset – but in their bedroom whilst she was sleeping.
I’m not certain I’m really doing it justice. But it’s a film about cherishing the little moments that each and every day has. Be it watching the rain bouncing off your car, taking time to breathe deeply while stuck in traffic, laughing at just how badly I cooked a meal or just enjoying the breeze on your face before you walk into work.
And right now I feel like a bit of a time-traveller myself, because I know how our wedding day went. I get to write this (well this last bit at least) as my future-self, your husband. I think I’ll let you (Alex) share the details of our wedding with everyone, suffice to say that every moment, every detail, every factor that fate let fall so far out of our control, left me feeling pretty embarrassed at how absolutely and ridiculously blessed we were.